I did a Top 5 for my favorite controllers before (except that list needs to be redone since I now have the Saturn Model 2 controller as my #1), so why not the ones I hate the most?
5) SEGA Dreamcast controller
4) OG Xbox controller
3) Nintendo 64 controller
2) Mad Katz Wireless OG Xbox controller
1) Project Natal....or Kinect
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Honorable Mentions:
Xbox360 Controller:
Wired Mad Katz PS2 Controller:
Let me go on record by saying that I fucking love the Dreamcast. That controller though? In a "take it or leave it" scenario, I only take it since it's the default way of playing the Dreamcast. The analog stick is horrible; it's not very grippy, it's unreliable, and I really don't find it very precise whatsoever. The buttons are alright but they're quite small for the size of the controller. Also, the cord comes from the front of the controller. I also find the controller unappealing.
My #1 complaint is the fucking d-pad. It's the 2nd worst d-pad I've ever had the displeasure of using for various reasons. The rather sharp edges feel uncomfortable. It's mushy as hell. It's shit. The only thing keeping it under my #1 most hated d-pad (I'll get to that later) is the fact that it's a cross-shaped d-pad, so I can, at the very least, get a good sense of the cardinal directions. But that's not a compliment though.
So why's it this so low on the list? Because it's comfortable to grip and hold. The analog stick almost ruins that aspect of it, but it doesn't. I can play with it for a long ass time with no complaints if I don't have to use the d-pad. Also, the triggers are very, very nice.
My #1 complaint is the fucking d-pad. It's the 2nd worst d-pad I've ever had the displeasure of using for various reasons. The rather sharp edges feel uncomfortable. It's mushy as hell. It's shit. The only thing keeping it under my #1 most hated d-pad (I'll get to that later) is the fact that it's a cross-shaped d-pad, so I can, at the very least, get a good sense of the cardinal directions. But that's not a compliment though.
So why's it this so low on the list? Because it's comfortable to grip and hold. The analog stick almost ruins that aspect of it, but it doesn't. I can play with it for a long ass time with no complaints if I don't have to use the d-pad. Also, the triggers are very, very nice.
4) OG Xbox controller
What a way to follow up a crap controller with another crap controller that just so happens to be its spiritual successor? It's only appropriate that the OG Xbox controller reminds me of the Dreamcast controller in crappiness. Also, it's worse than the Dreamcast controller, IMO, in almost every way.
How about we start with HOW FUCKING BIG THIS CHUNK OF GAMING IS! It's the 2nd biggest gamepad I've had to play with, and is indeed the heaviest. Normally, I find that heavier things tend to be more well-made (not because they're heavy, mind you), but this lug? Nah, son. Never in my life have I found a comfortable way of actually holding it. I'd say it's good for forearm exercise, but you'd probably develop fucking arthritis before lactic acid from playing with this damned thing.
Speaking of which, what's up with that jank ass button placement? It's like SEGA/MS tried to shoehorn a 6-button layout into that hunk of plastic and failed miserably. Why are the black/white buttons skewed to one side? The glossed buttons are much nicer than the Dreamcast controller's buttons, but it doesn't help that the X/Y buttons can only be reached comfortably by Shaquille O'Neal.
It would also probably be a chore to Shaq to make use of that stiff ass d-pad, much less your average gamer.The stiffness can be compared to the Turbografx-16 d-pad, but that d-pad makes up for it by being actually good. This shit looks like a prop in Marble Madness.
At least the left analog stick is half-decent, but why did they not use the same one for the right analog stick? The left one's slippery enough, but the right one has NO grip. Hell, even the triggers are worse than the Dreamcast's. Instead of having that horn at the tip, they're like mini floor pedals. Me no likey.
How about we start with HOW FUCKING BIG THIS CHUNK OF GAMING IS! It's the 2nd biggest gamepad I've had to play with, and is indeed the heaviest. Normally, I find that heavier things tend to be more well-made (not because they're heavy, mind you), but this lug? Nah, son. Never in my life have I found a comfortable way of actually holding it. I'd say it's good for forearm exercise, but you'd probably develop fucking arthritis before lactic acid from playing with this damned thing.
Speaking of which, what's up with that jank ass button placement? It's like SEGA/MS tried to shoehorn a 6-button layout into that hunk of plastic and failed miserably. Why are the black/white buttons skewed to one side? The glossed buttons are much nicer than the Dreamcast controller's buttons, but it doesn't help that the X/Y buttons can only be reached comfortably by Shaquille O'Neal.
It would also probably be a chore to Shaq to make use of that stiff ass d-pad, much less your average gamer.The stiffness can be compared to the Turbografx-16 d-pad, but that d-pad makes up for it by being actually good. This shit looks like a prop in Marble Madness.
At least the left analog stick is half-decent, but why did they not use the same one for the right analog stick? The left one's slippery enough, but the right one has NO grip. Hell, even the triggers are worse than the Dreamcast's. Instead of having that horn at the tip, they're like mini floor pedals. Me no likey.
3) Nintendo 64 controller
This thing is polarizing as all hell. I'm in the hate camp.
I'd rather use the OG Xbox controller than this thing. The OG Xbox controller already has enough problems, but at least it has the courtesy to have the inputs on one side or the other. Why the fuck does the N64 controller have to have a separate arm for the analog stick? I understand that it's an early design for a gamepad with an analog stick, but COME ON! Literally the only compliment I can give this damned thing is that the arms are easy to hold. Yup, that's about it.
I've never had an analog stick fail on me after playing my fair share of N64 (don't get me wrong; I do like the system), but I never, ever liked it. It's not all that grippy, even with the ridges. I also don't like how small the pad is in proportion to how tall the stick is.
The A/B/Z and shoulder buttons are barely decent, but the C-buttons are mushy. I have a feeling that it's because they're worn down, but I've played other game consoles for much longer before having the buttons go mush on me, if at all. So they're mushy AND unreliable. My favorite!
At least the d-pad is half-decent. I'd also like to take this time to mention that I much prefer decent 8-directional d-pads than decent cross-shaped d-pads. Just a personal preference, plus it allows me to effectively play a wide variety of games.
I'd rather use the OG Xbox controller than this thing. The OG Xbox controller already has enough problems, but at least it has the courtesy to have the inputs on one side or the other. Why the fuck does the N64 controller have to have a separate arm for the analog stick? I understand that it's an early design for a gamepad with an analog stick, but COME ON! Literally the only compliment I can give this damned thing is that the arms are easy to hold. Yup, that's about it.
I've never had an analog stick fail on me after playing my fair share of N64 (don't get me wrong; I do like the system), but I never, ever liked it. It's not all that grippy, even with the ridges. I also don't like how small the pad is in proportion to how tall the stick is.
The A/B/Z and shoulder buttons are barely decent, but the C-buttons are mushy. I have a feeling that it's because they're worn down, but I've played other game consoles for much longer before having the buttons go mush on me, if at all. So they're mushy AND unreliable. My favorite!
At least the d-pad is half-decent. I'd also like to take this time to mention that I much prefer decent 8-directional d-pads than decent cross-shaped d-pads. Just a personal preference, plus it allows me to effectively play a wide variety of games.
2) Mad Katz Wireless OG Xbox controller
I had a set of IR controllers for the OG Xbox before it bit the dust like the dust-biting, unreliable PC_X_Console it was. Wow, they were bad. And you may have to scour the 'net for a pic since this controller was so bad that no one gave a damn about it. I remember it well though.
Mad Katz done made many a CRAP CRAP controller, but this might be their worst of all time (don't take my word for it; I didn't have that many Mad Katz pads. This is just the worst of the ones I had). They have the form factor of the Xbox S controllers, but those shitty grips didn't help. The analog triggers were even WORSE than the pack-in controller, and the black/white buttons were underneath the face buttons. So if you wanted to reach them without moving your hand too much, you're screwed. If your hands are small, then it'll be a painful stretch. If your hands are big, then you might press both at once. Also, the buttons and d-pad are worse.
"Boi, you just said that you'd rather play with the OG Xbox controller than the N64 one. So why the hell is this higher on the list?" you scream at me as your food-laced spit begins to speckle the monitor. Well, for starters, at least the N64 controller's put together nicely. These Mad Katz controllers, with their cheap plastic and cheap feel, are not. I easily peeled the grips out of their slots and the controllers break easily. The analog sticks are just as unreliable as the infrared connection, which is a fucking story within itself.
Mad Katz done made many a CRAP CRAP controller, but this might be their worst of all time (don't take my word for it; I didn't have that many Mad Katz pads. This is just the worst of the ones I had). They have the form factor of the Xbox S controllers, but those shitty grips didn't help. The analog triggers were even WORSE than the pack-in controller, and the black/white buttons were underneath the face buttons. So if you wanted to reach them without moving your hand too much, you're screwed. If your hands are small, then it'll be a painful stretch. If your hands are big, then you might press both at once. Also, the buttons and d-pad are worse.
"Boi, you just said that you'd rather play with the OG Xbox controller than the N64 one. So why the hell is this higher on the list?" you scream at me as your food-laced spit begins to speckle the monitor. Well, for starters, at least the N64 controller's put together nicely. These Mad Katz controllers, with their cheap plastic and cheap feel, are not. I easily peeled the grips out of their slots and the controllers break easily. The analog sticks are just as unreliable as the infrared connection, which is a fucking story within itself.
1) Project Natal....or Kinect
Oh yeah. It's bad. And to think MS made it look SOOOOO fun in their conference. Everyone got this piece of crap, and now NO ONE can get rid of it! At least IR controllers work sometimes. At least the Wiimote had the decency to be a functional controller. At least the PS Move had the courtesy to be a fully-functional rip-off (although, to be honest, the button layout is somehow even worse than the Wiimote's).
It's like the spiritual successor to the Power Glove. Or the U-Force. At least the U-Force somewhat worked. I could honestly berate the Kinect all day long, I really could. However, this list has gone on long enough. I'll just leave it at this:
The Kinect is my least favorite controller of all time. I'd rather play Sonic '06 with a broken X360 controller (since there's a lot of those) and 5lbs of fish tied to my ballsack hanging over an alligator pit than flail with the Kinect in front of a live audience.
It's like the spiritual successor to the Power Glove. Or the U-Force. At least the U-Force somewhat worked. I could honestly berate the Kinect all day long, I really could. However, this list has gone on long enough. I'll just leave it at this:
The Kinect is my least favorite controller of all time. I'd rather play Sonic '06 with a broken X360 controller (since there's a lot of those) and 5lbs of fish tied to my ballsack hanging over an alligator pit than flail with the Kinect in front of a live audience.
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Honorable Mentions:
Xbox360 Controller:
This is not a bad controller. It's very comfortable, the analog triggers are good, and the face buttons are good. It's also put together nicely, having a nice form factor and nice matte finish. So why's it an honorable mention? A variety of reasons, actually.
It's a perfect reflection of the fragile console for which it's attached to. It's probably the most unreliable gamepad I've played with, which is apporpriate since I've had four RROD Xbox360s. The sticks wear quickly. The buttons wear quickly. They shoulder buttons tend to stick. THE START BUTTON IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING X BUTTON!!!
The overall unreliability of the controllers are a close second to my #1 gripe with it- the d-pad. Oh my sweet baby Arceus, I fucking loathe this d-pad. It's worse than the Dreamcast controller's d-pad in my book. It's like MS tried to replicate the Saturn/Genesis d-pad on the cheap and failed miserably. It truly does feel like a small joystick with a large pad. There's NO definitive directions with this shitty d-pad.
Later revisions fixed the reliability issues, EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK SIX FUCKING YEARS TO DO IT, and even the d-pad got patched up. The new one's basically a cross-shaped d-pad that you can twist 90 degrees to make it taller. It's called a "transforming" d-pad. I really don't give a fuck about that "transforming" bullshit since it really does nothing for me. Plus, it's still mushy. Might as well call MS' hardware designers the "Can't-Get-Rights." At least the XBOne controller's nice with a nicer d-pad that has push switches instead of contacts.
It's a perfect reflection of the fragile console for which it's attached to. It's probably the most unreliable gamepad I've played with, which is apporpriate since I've had four RROD Xbox360s. The sticks wear quickly. The buttons wear quickly. They shoulder buttons tend to stick. THE START BUTTON IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING X BUTTON!!!
The overall unreliability of the controllers are a close second to my #1 gripe with it- the d-pad. Oh my sweet baby Arceus, I fucking loathe this d-pad. It's worse than the Dreamcast controller's d-pad in my book. It's like MS tried to replicate the Saturn/Genesis d-pad on the cheap and failed miserably. It truly does feel like a small joystick with a large pad. There's NO definitive directions with this shitty d-pad.
Later revisions fixed the reliability issues, EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK SIX FUCKING YEARS TO DO IT, and even the d-pad got patched up. The new one's basically a cross-shaped d-pad that you can twist 90 degrees to make it taller. It's called a "transforming" d-pad. I really don't give a fuck about that "transforming" bullshit since it really does nothing for me. Plus, it's still mushy. Might as well call MS' hardware designers the "Can't-Get-Rights." At least the XBOne controller's nice with a nicer d-pad that has push switches instead of contacts.
Wired Mad Katz PS2 Controller:
This is probably my least hated Mad Katz controller, but that's not saying much. It's still crap. The only thing it does right is that it ditches that awful Dualshock d-pad with a standard cross-shaped one. That's it. They still have those awful grips, their trademark cheapness, and worse...well...everything really. At least mine didn't fail within a month of playing.