Many of us came here because we were having issues with arguments and antagonistic members and such on the old board, so I feel the need to make this thread.
I am aware that the rules here allow for us to bicker and bitch our heads off - so don't take this the wrong way. I just think this should be noted for everyone as it can help avoid many miscommunications that don't need to occur. I frequented 4chan for quite a while so I'm not averse to chaos (and I'm kinda excited about the possibility of some on here!).
Actually....!! guys guys guys guys can we have a SALT or BATTLE ROYALE thread/section so we can just go in there when we're disagreeing and fight with each other? omgg the possibilities
Consider this to simply be suggestions based on what I have discovered through my experiences, intended for those who are looking to turn over a new leaf. Hell, let's even make this a little NSFW,shall we? I have some steam to blow off.
So here we go!:
1. If someone posts something that gives you the impression they might be indirectly making fun of you, you're gonna look like a fuckin' idiot if you get mad and respond and they weren't talking about you. And no, I am not pointing out certain people by saying this. I have done it as well. Our minds tend to jump to the worst possible conclusions when confronted with vague information (thus why horror and suspense films are so gripping - by showing us as little as possible and letting us jump to our own conclusions).
I generally try to take the approach that if I don't know whether or not I am being mocked, it's better to assume that I'm not. I do this for multiple reasons. Firstly, it can piss some people off if you call them out for something they didn't do (more on that later). Secondly, if someone is trying to be offensive toward you, it throws them off WAAAAAAAY more if you respond in a kind, ingenuous manner. If they're still gonna be a cunt? Fuck 'em. Keeping the ball in your court and your emotions in your control (instead of someone else's) allows for you to not get dragged into a situation that causes the kinds of frustrations that have led us to forming this site in the first place.
2. IF SOMEONE RESPONDS TO YOU IN THE MANNER I JUST DISCUSSED, DO NOT GET OFFENDED YOURSELF. That makes you look like just as much of a fuckin' idiot, and will cause more problems than simply saying "Hey, man, that wasn't directed at you, I'm sorry if it came off that way." You know what? Most of the instances where I've clarified that a comment I made wasn't personal, the issue ceased immediately. The only time it hadn't, further attempts to explain myself were met with equal disdain, and I was able to realize the person I was trying to level with had his head so far up his ass that he could taste what he ate for breakfast. Those people are not worth your time and have no grounds to keep acting inflammatory if you do not acknowledge them. Smile to yourself and move along.
Most of us here are adults, so in situations that can be easily avoidable please act like it. Try to avoid the dissolution of responsibility that comes with being in a large, somewhat-anonymous group. Acting like an adult means using the wonderful Human trait of rational thought to consider what we are saying/doing, and the effect it can have on others. Another way to put this would be similar to how Karma is sometimes described in the East - every action you perform do plants a seed, which grows and branches in countless ways, and bears fruit directly related to said action. We must be mindful to nourish and harvest only those seeds and fruits which help us and others grow, instead of those seeds which we can see will bear only rotten fruit. Let that plant die, and let that rotten fruit drop to the ground and roll away.
3. As previously stated, it is helpful to be mindful of how you word things and to express the intentions of your comments. If you wanna talk shit that's cool, but THE EASIEST WAY TO AVOID DEALING WITH POINTS 1 AND 2 IS NOT WORDING YOURSELF IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE. The biggest problem I see with this is implying people are fanboys or putting words in people's mouths. Communication is significantly easier when you are able to separate your actual statements from the conclusions you jump to because of them. Saying "the Wii U is failing financially" is an objective statement - using that to jump to the conclusion that "Ninty is <insert long-term event that bears no basis in reality>" or (worse yet) "if you disagree you are just a delusional fanboy" is only grounds to make people angry. If you don't come off as automatically dismissing the other person's statements, you might find them leveling with you and you might find yourself learning some things. For example, my own opinions on Nintendo are harsher than they may seem, but it is hard to discuss this with someone who cannot appreciate that fact simply because I disagree with him on other points (which, generally, are only disagreeing with the conclusions he has jumped to) and the conversation turns into defending what are, essentially, abstracts. In short: don't make it a pain in the ass for people to speak to you.
If you're gonna poke fun at someone in a friendly manner, it's not hard to add a spoiler or (as per Dat's suggestions) use a font that can be accepted as sarcastic to let someone know you are not trying to offend them. Or... y'know... just fucking say you're joking. As stated before, that can immediately prevent conflict, and being able to joke about our shortcomings and frustrations is healthy as it makes us more able to accept them and not be held down by them. Doing this with others allows us to see that our problems aren't as big a deal to others as we might self-consciously think they are. But some people have shit they're dealing with, and some comments that aren't meant to be insensitive can be taken as such under certain circumstances. It is beneficial to us as a community to understand these circumstances. Which all ties into:
4. COMMUNICATE! If something is offensive to you, maybe it would help things by explaining why. If you have found yourself in a situation where someone is offended by you, it might be helpful to ask them what they found offensive, in a way that allows you both to reach a middle ground and better understand each other. Become friends, even. I bet you've been in at least one scenario where someone was being a total douche to you over something that is very personal but they had no real understanding of it because they never asked and you never told. This is avoidable. Some members have shit going on in their lives, and if they feel comfortable communicating with us, we can have a better understanding of how to communicate with them, and we can be supportive of each other and can converse on here without risking the kind of shit we're getting away from. Even if members strongly disagree. Compassion is about being able to accept people, and understand them, even if we don't agree with them. Once again, we're a community. We should be as close as possible. I'd much rather see us united against an outside entity than squabbling amongst ourselves.
And if someone doesn't care enough to communicate? Fuck 'em. Find people who do.
5. Watching members argue and derail threads tends to piss other members off. Keep this in mind if you find yourself arguing with someone. Take it to PMs if you have to. Sometimes this is even more beneficial simply because you can tell the other person your feelings and thoughts privately, without feeling so caught up in being called out for something in public. I find my own messages to be consistently more compassionate than my public comments, and my conflicts to be resolved much faster, for this reason.
But also, some members are here just to chat about games. Don't ruin their fun. That makes you an asshole. No, I'm not forgetting our lax rules. Just be mindful about your comments if people start to actively tell you to shut the fuck up because you've turned a thread about a new announcement into debating the finer arts of incestuous fellatio.
6. No matter what, there will be conflicts and there will be people who comment to cause conflicts. Learn who these people are and avoid them. Decide for yourself whether or not a conflict is worth your time, and act accordingly. Just as easily, if you're in a thread and an argument has ensued, don't fuck the thread up by joining in on the argument. If you find yourself really mad about something, remember again that we're a community, and many of us here are your friends and care about how you feel, and we don't mind if you message us to vent. We might even agree with you. You might realize that bitching to someone who is receptive to you will allow you to return to the offending comment or member in a more level-headed, rational manner.
Note: I have found trolling to be an effective way to stop people who are intentionally trying to start arguments. Just confuses the shit out of them and they leave not knowing what's going on.
7. Likewise, there will always be people who just enjoy shit talking. Sometimes it's not personal. This goes back to communication - learn who these people are and realize that they are just scratching their own itch instead of trying to give you one. In terms of this site, there will also be people who post opinions that are not accepted by the majority - and sometimes it's just because they feel, as a member of the community, they want to put their word in on a thread. They might not be starting arguments. Learn who these people are (a lot of the time you can tell by how they don't call out others who are simply posting their opinions as well), and let them voice their opinion as it helps them feel more part of the community and prevents them from approaching other, docile conversations in a hostile manner. If you are one of these people and someone responds to an opinion you posted with argumentativeness, refer back to point #2. It is not hard to say "I am just stating my opinion, it's all good yo" without ending with "so fuck you, you fucking fuck I bet you are a fucking fanboy fucktwat".
8. Don't be such a little bitch, why don't ya?! This one's hard. I'm still trying to figure it out. I'll get back to you when I have more info (or maybe DeviousOne can offer some insight into this).
9.
10. PROFIT
Now that I've said my piece, I'll leave the floor open for you guys to add suggestions and devolve this thread into a shit-talking spectacle.
LET'S GET IT ON!
also, it's not that fucking hard to apologize.
LET'S GET IT ON!
also, it's not that fucking hard to apologize.
Edit: First off, I want to thank Yerba for posting this wonderful and well thought out message to all of us. I am in your debt good sir!
Second: I decided to lock this thread on the recommendation of the members so it wouldn't dissolve into mindless chatter. If you have any problems with members here please PM me. I am always more than happy to discuss any issues. My name is John and I'm the head site Administrator. I want this to be a place for everyone to feel welcome, no matter your view on Nintendo, religion, politics, etc. My utmost wish is for this forum to be an fun outlet for all who gather here no matter what the topic is.
- John